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the beginning of my college career; the beginning of a whole new
Posted by: Sarah M. Weigman from Alexandria, VA Sunday July 13, 2003 @ 09:31 PDT
september 11, 2001. i had just arrived on campus in richmond, va two weeks earlier, and classes were only in their second week. i was still pining for the life i lead at home, in alexandria, va...just minutes away from the pentagon and washington, dc. it was a tuesday morning -- i didn't have class -- so i was sleeping in. my friend erika knocked gently on my door shortly after the first tower was struck and informed me of the tragedy. i winced at her for waking me up so early on my day off, but little did i know that i had bigger things to worry about than losing an hour or two of sleep. erika led me to her room, telling me how one of the twin towers had been struck by an airplane, and that they didn't think it was an accident. shortly after reaching her room we decided to abandon her small,black and white, cable-less television for the big screen cable television in the student lounge. when we got downstairs, the room was already filled with students who looked much like myself. scared, new faces in new places, still in their pajamas because the day wasn't scheduled to begin for another few hours. some were already in tears, all were somber, bearing expressions of disbelief and outright confusion. just a few minutes later, the second tower was hit. initially, quite a few of us thought that it was just a replay of the first tower's demise, until we realized the truth, and we also realized that not only was this not an accident, but our lives would never be the same again. i began to cry as i wondered about family that works in new york city (i would almost unbearably later learn that they were a safe distance from the mayhem)and went back upstairs to fetch my cell phone. shortly after i returned, the pentagon was hit. my heart sunk. my mother works in d.c., and all of my life has centered around how close i am to the pentagon and the nation's capital. i frantically tried calling my mother at work, but to no avail. all lines of communication were cut off. i panicked and began to cry, finding comfort only in the faces of the strange faces that surrounded me. erika had to leave for class, but she found that classes had inevitably been cancelled in the face of such an american tragedy. we stayed in the lounge for a while, watching news coverage, sharing stories and lives with the people that filtered in and out of the lounge. after going upstairs to get dressed and face the day, i once again tried to reach my mother and got through just long enough to tell her that i was scared and for her to tell me that everything would be okay. i could hear it in her voice, though, that she wasn't herself sure that she was telling the truth. that tuesday became the day around which just about every day since has revolved, especially the few weeks following. in the hours and days that followed, i became very pensive and wondered about all the things that could have been. at a later time, i learned that my cousin meryl was supposed to have been interviewing for a job in the world trade center but cancelled because she didn't feel well and wasn't up to driving all the way to ny from md. i also suddenly realized that the other college i had been accepted to and seriously contemplated visiting, eugene lang college, was just blocks from wall street. i cannot fathom how i would have felt if i had been there instead of in richmond, and counted my blessings that i had decided to "stay local" and travel just 2 hours to school instead of 4 or 5. that tuesday night, erika, another friend, and i attended a candlelight vigil on the grounds of the student commons, where i found the pain in my heart unbearable and while the crowd sang along to john lennon's "imagine", i found tears flooding from my eyes, almost uncontrollably, while my friends wrapped their arms around me, and we swayed, staring into the light emanating from our candles, staring into what the uncertain future that just a day earlier had been carefully laid out for us as college freshmen. there were photographers all around us, news cameras and newspaper reporters, all taking pictures of my friends and i, and the students of my school at our most vulnerable. we each returned to our dorm unable to concentrate on schoolwork, once again flocking to the lounge to watch more news coverage on the big screen tv. after seeing our own faces on the 11 o'clock news, we decided that sleep would be a good idea, and headed in separate directions to our rooms, although obviously unable to close our eyes without replaying the day's horrifying events, much less to sleep. in the days that followed, i would attend another vigil, without my friends, at the student commons, where i would again find myself overcome with sadness and crying uncontrollably. at the end of the vigil, as "god bless america" played over the speakers set up around the site, i searched for a familiar face, someone to find consolation in, someone to walk with me back to the dorm. as i stood, alone, a man that i did not know, with a face i would later not recognize, approached me, without speaking, and wrapped his arms around me, giving me the most fulfilling and endearing hug that i have ever received in my life. as i stood in this strange man's arms, he rocked slightly and whispered in my ear that everything would be alright. as he broke away from the embrace, he kissed my forehead softly and i prayed that he was right -- that things would be okay. as he walked away, i noticed that he was wearing a shirt that said "fdny" on it. i realized quickly that this was a shirt just like my brother, a firefighter in a small town in md, had -- a shirt that one, at that time, could only acquire by having been a member of a fire department. as i reflected on what i had just realized, i cried some more, and made the previously short but now incredibly long walk back to my room. mental images of the caring stranger that wiped away my tears would haunt me continuously over the next few weeks, and even occasionally to this day, almost two years later. images of those burning buildings have become emblazoned in my mind, not to be wiped away anytime even relatively soon. the strength that the victims' families have had to come up with at such a hard time in their lives is what has made me a stronger person myself. i am now about to begin my third year of college, and i am a much stronger person than i was when i began school in 2001, still a little scared of the new world around me. but now, i look around at the even newer world around me, after having lived through a terrorist attack, a war, and continuing efforts to thwart terror, and i feel only one thing: pride. pride in my country, despite my personal opposition with the war in iraq.. pride in my people, all people, for staying strong and brave in such an unstable place. pride in the as yet uncharted future of the world i live in. i still get chills at any mention of the events of that day, and no matter how carefree i am, when i think about the events of that september day, i am instantly pensive and reflect on that piece of history. i still cry everytime i hear a patriotic song, especially "god bless america", when visions of the embrace of an unknown man come back into my mind, but also when the local radio stations play any of the many songs that hit the airwaves reflecting on the disaster. i deeply hope that sometime soon, the world will come to some sort of peace, and terror will vanish. i know that this makes me a bit of a dreamer, and that my dreams are a long way from happening, but i know they're possible, and i know that as long as we stay brave as a nation, we will all be alright. god bless america!