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not close, but yet affected.
Posted by: Liz from Bay Shore Wednesday May 15, 2002 @ 03:22 PDT
although, i had no close relation with anyone involved in this disaster, although, i had no lost family members in this trajedy, although, i was no where near this evil act, i was not far. i was getting my daughter ready for school and helping my husband get ready to go to work. my husband always watches "good day new york", on fox 5. my husband yelled out "liz, look, the twin tower is on fire!". i thought he was joking. even looking straight at it on television, it just didn't look real to me. my sister was working in manhattan at the time. i thought, "let me call my sister to see if she sees anything." not once did i think that it was 100% worse then i thought or saw on television. there was no answer at my sister's job. i simply thought they weren't in yet, because the answering machine picked up, so i didn't think about the lines being down. i then called my mom at her job to see if she new about it. that is when it hit me. my mother was histerical. people at her job keeping her calm. i then realized how serious this was and that my sister was there. i now realize that i actually did have a close relation with someone involved in some way. i dropped my daughter off at a babysitter rather than school. i went to go drop my husband off at work. listening to "1010 wins". i heard everything that was going on. when the first tower collapsed, i was home. when the second came down i was in the car with my husband listening to "1010 wins". it was just not real enough for me. i was in tears all over "sunrise hwy". that day was just the most "off" day i've ever lived. everyone was in tears all over "sunrise hwy". as i'm headed back from dropping my husband off at work, he calls me to go back and pick him up. he works right behind "long island macarthur airport". that was closed and blocked off, so his job was shut down that day. my sister has yet to contact any of us. blindly like everyone else, i had no idea what was going on with my sister. finally, hours later my mother tells me she called her at work and that she was at penn station trying to get out, but they wouldn't let her or anybody out. she was terrified and histerrical. that was bad enough for me. hours go by. nothing. now, i finally hear she is walking over 59th st. bridge with everyone else. she was determined to get out. from about 7am, she finally got home 11 hours later (6pm). this is not my idea of a day. i understand it really isn't anyone's idea of any day. anyway, that was it. i don't know why, but i didn't leave my house for a whole week. not even to get the mail. i was not walking out of my house. i fell into some sort of depression. it was not cool. every plane that flew over, i was petro. for me to get out of my house the following week, it was only because i had no choice. but i kept forcing myself to live my normal life again. i had a friend who died in the crash headed for the dominican republic. i also flew to florida in november. i was literally trembling from fear and almost in tears to be flying. we are now in may and thank god i still have my life. for all those who lost loved ones in these terrible disasters, my heart goes out to all of you. may god be with you all and bless all your hearts. may god provide you with the peace and understanding that you need. i will be flying again may 25th. the fear will never leave me. it is a type of fear that i don't seem to be getting over. but i do believe that god will bring me through this. like he will bring you all through this. when something is meant to happen, nothing will stop it from happening. i just, we just need to keep our faith strong and believe that god will never put in our way anything he doesn't think we can't handle. may god bless you all. peace be with you. thank you for allowing me to share my story with you. i love you. liz