View 91101 Opinions

Show Top Posts:	Show All Posts:
what i will always remember....
Posted by: Jessica from Long Island Saturday February 09, 2002 @ 09:05 PST
i remember september 11, 2001 like it was yesterday and i don't know if that feeling will ever go away. i can remember driving to work and thinking what a gorgeous day out it was. the sky was a bright blue with few cottony clouds dotting the sky. it was a bit of an indian summer, the temperature was warm enough to have all the windows open in my car, including my sunroof open. i took an alternate way to work that day and z100 had just announced that there was an accident on my direct way to work and it was a 'slow go'. so i was happy i had made the right decision of how to go to work. on the radio was "i was high" which played all the time. then as it was over, all of sudden, the announcer said, "what was that? there's a fire in the world trade center. or was it a bomb? a plane?!?" i still didn't realize the seriousness of it. i didn't think it was going to be anything like it was. so i called my fiancé, a new york city police officer, who was on his way to work on cellular phone, i said to him, "i guess i know where you'll be today." i said in a almost a joking tone. i thought he would be directing traffic in the area, i never imagined what the true devastation would be. then he told me that, "the sky is completely black". he was on the nassau county/queens county border. then i got scared. that terror feeling didn't leave and i think a small part is still with me today. as soon as i arrived at work i saw a co-worker and friend whose husband is also a police officer for new york city and i asked her if she heard the news. she said her husband was already on his way to the towers. when i finally made it to my desk and told almost each and every coworker i saw on the way, i called my mother at home to see if she knew. by this time, my mother informed me that she had seen the news and was upset at the graphic image seen on television. in the middle of the conversation, she screamed,"oh my goodness, they just hit the other tower. i just saw a plane hit it! oh my goodness, oh my goodness..." it was the day that never ended. we were all frantic trying to find our spouses, family and friends. it was hard to concentrate on our work that day. in my office, many workers have friends and family who worked in the world trade center or worked for an emergency services department (nypd, fdny) in nyc. many tears were shed. the office was almost actually quiet with the exception of constant fire trucks traveling along sunrise highway. the sirens of their trucks were ominous. the news continued to travel, “was the pentagon hit? the washington mall? the towers came down! the towers came down!”. driving home was hard because the parkways were all closed. i am neurotic and upset because i couldn’t reach my fiancé and because the cellular telephones were not working. it was heart wrenching. i had stayed away from the television all day. and when i finally made it home was locked to every and any news station i could watch. i couldn’t stop. i just sat and cried. i did hear from my fiancé that evening and he advised that he was in his precinct that day but would be going to ground zero that evening and didn’t know how long he would be there. i was scared. just an hour ago another building had come down and i didn’t want him there. i wanted him home safe with me. i asked my fiancé if he had contacted all of his friends and he had said all but one was accounted for, but there was nothing to worry about he would be okay. he is a fireman, i didn’t know if my fiancé just said that to alleviate my fears or because it was something that he knew. that night i watched the news i watched as the empire state building got evacuated, penn station got evacuated. i listened silently overhead as planes stopped flying. the only noise was the occasional fighter jet. that noise i still hear today. i couldn’t sleep that night and i couldn’t sleep for a long time after that. watching the towers fall, watching the smoke and debris that poured out from the world trade center. feeling helpless wanting to do something. giving money and supplies to my volunteer fire department was all i could do because no one, not my fiancé or families would let me go to the site to help. so i sat and cried. i cried for a long time. sometimes, i still do. all of my fiancés’ friends were accounted for by the end of the week. i found out the night of the benefit concert that one of my friends from high school had died in the towers. i still haven’t come to grips with that fact yet. i don’t know if i will ever not have this ‘terror’ inside of me. i’ll admit that yes, i am scared. i am scared every time my now, husband, goes to work. i fear in big international events like the olympics. my life will never, ever be the same again. i lost my innocence on september 11, 2001.